As parents, partners, friends, lovers, employers or employees, we all sometimes don’t realize how much is too much. It’s a very fine line, and it depends on the person and the situation. And you know you’ve crossed it when you begin feeling cross with yourself, or feel that you’re taken for granted, not appreciated, or just plain pi**ed without really knowing the reason why.
Perhaps it’s easiest for parents to know when they’ve done too much. At one extreme, the result is a spoilt and pampered kid, but on a lesser note it is just a child who creates tantrums when they don’t get their way.
Between friends, the friendship won’t last long if one is taken for granted. Haven’t you had a so-called friend who you always have to call? It is you who always makes a program to meet up, you who does the listening all the time. Said friend does not budge or make any move, does not bother to ask you about your day, is so busy that he or she can’t even return your phone-calls. Sounds familiar? We’ve all gone through this, thinking someone’s our friend when they are the least interested in us. Remember friendship is a two-way street. When you realize you’ve done too much, it’s time to call it quits.
Perhaps the hardest is when you’ve done too much for a partner. How did you let this happen? We all know marriage is about give and take, but when one gives too much, after some time there’s a “give.” When the giver tries to equalize the balance, there is very often resistance from the taker. Who do you blame? You can’t really blame the giver. It’s sometimes the situation that makes one give more and the other take more. And I am no relationship counsellor to say what to do or what not to do. But sometimes a good fight (without fisticuffs) where both sides let off steam helps to clear the air. So do whatever it takes to restore the equilibrium.
Well, on this note, I’ll end with these words: You should get as much as you give. And it is only you who can decide how much is too much.
Adios until next time…